Bodily Fluids Burst Over Biden Award

by Paul Bernstein, Politicoat Monday 1/15/2017

Washington, D.C.President Barack Obama, in a show of ongoing self-congratulatory praise, recently awarded his own Vice President the Presidential Medal of Freedom.

The award and lavish ceremony was a continuation of the failed Obama White House thanking itself for eight years of social engineering that destroyed US healthcare, imposed transgender bathrooms on school children, and spread Islamic terror to every corner of the world.

Reaction to the unprecedented ceremony brought a plethora of tear gushing from Washington media activists who cried during the vain and egotistical spectacle.

Today Show host Matt Lauer said he was so overcome with emotion at the display he “just burst out crying” when Obama surprised Biden with the medal.

NBC leftist Andera Mitchell was also “just in tears” at the “ bond we’ve never seen before between Obama and Biden” whose bromance is the gayest in 230 years of US presidents.

Reaction to the ceremony among Americans not obsessed with giving each other merit-less awards and handjobs was, however, one of complete revulsion.

I shit myself,” said 43-year-old mom and Trump voter Suzie Olsen of Jupiter, Florida. “It was like a steamy gay shower scene popping up on TV with your kids in the room. You can’t change the channel fast enough, but the remote is nowhere to be found.”

Biden joined an exclusive group of only two Vice Presidents ever to receive the Presidential Medal of Freedom, despite having done absolutely nothing to warrant its reception.

I barfed when I saw those idiots fawning over each other,” Virginia resident and former Democrat Mike Gradell told reporters. “You know, we see these morons rubbing each other with oil and pouring hot wax all over their nipples and say to ourselves, Gee I wonder how Trump got elected?”

During the award ceremony President Obama listed no specific achievements or accomplishments that justified his vice executive receiving the Medal of Freedom, aside from how Biden made people feel; extremely awkward with off handed sexual remarks, or violated when felt up against their will.

Observers in the White House press corps have commented that the President’s true motivation was to award Biden for being the nation’s first clinically retarded Vice President. No reporters, however, are saying so publicly due to the factual nature of the claim.

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