Clinton Speeches Released By Goldman Sachs

Clinton: "I hold the schooling whip high then bring its end firm onto the buttocks."
 by Jose Ramirez, Politicoat Sunday 5/1/2016
 

     Claiming it wants to avoid negative public and political pressure in the upcoming general election, finance and banking combine Goldman Sachs (GS) decided to release all transcripts of speeches 2016 Democrat presidential contender Hillary Clinton gave during her final year as President Obama’s Secretary of State.

In total Clinton gave three speeches to Goldman-associated events throughout 2013 for which she was paid $675,000 to glorify the global banking sector she now, as candidate Clinton, wants regulated with kidnappings and public executions.

Coupled with ‘sounding like a Goldman managing director,’ as one speech attendee put it, Clinton showed her softer side not known to those familiar with the angry, brash politician seasoned by the rough seas of self-interested governmental activism.

Clinton, in her monologues, added personal insights about how she relaxes and ‘enjoys life’ outside of work by pulling off the arms and legs of insects, horse whipping naked buttocks of off duty male Secret Service agents, and dining on the innards of forced third world organ donors.

Clinton also spoke highly of Goldman’s work ethic during the 2008 financial collapse, praised its senior management for their “effective mitigation” of the American mortgage crisis, and, if given chance as President of the United States, promised to ‘take a look’ at portions of Dodd/Frank most disadvantageous to the financial sector.

Sources inside the firm say Goldman did not simply pay Clinton to make speeches, for which she earned grotesque sums to display disturbing levels of narcissistic cruelty to insects and humans, but to consider her as a company representative following her term at State.

After the third of what was to be four speeches, however, the Goldman Board decided not to move forward with Clinton citing her “dishonesty and vampiristic thirst for human blood” that would make the most seasoned Wall Street reprobate blush burnt red.

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