by Chong Wong, Politicoat Sunday 11/6/2016
Reports from early voting states indicate Hillary Clinton holds a slight lead over Republican rival Donald Trump as supporters “With Her” gravitate to polls under the pretext voting booths will be stocked with human brains.
Jim Margolis, media advisor and only member of the Clinton campaign staff not mentioned in ongoing FBI criminal investigations, says early voting turnout among the Clinton base is essential to getting the needed 270 electoral college votes.
“Although a lot of our voters have been dead for months, even years from the smell of things, poll staffers are prohobited from asking for ID or if they are they legally allowed to vote as clinically deceased,” said Margolis.
When questioned about the ethics of promising Clinton supporters a reward of human brains for their early votes, Margolis elaborted that brains offered are actually cow and pig brains ‘discuised to look human’.
“Sure, we got some pushback on that,” said Margolis, “but we’re not officially breaking any rules by offering deads animal brains, and our base doesn’t pay that much attention anyway.”