Dem Suicide Cult Fails To Deliver Following Trump Address

Republicans decry another flop in a long list of Democrat failures.

A bigger blunder than Obamacare.

Shows no one in congress is serious about making the necessary cuts to get this country back to a level of sustainability and prosperity.” -Republican lawmaker.

By Chong Wong, Politicoat Wednesday 3/1/2017

Washington, D.C. – Clad in all white and ready to just do it, members of the House Democratic Women’s Working Group failed to deliver on a promise to commit mass suicide following President Trump’s address to a rare joint session of Congress Tuesday night.

The 66 member Women’s Working Group, chaired by House Democrat Leader Nancy Pelosi, planned to assemble before TV cameras in the adjacent House Reception Room after Trump’s speech and perform the act by drinking bottles of nail polish.

We were all dressed in white and very committed to giving our lives in protest against this oppressive and misogynistic administration,” said NY Democrat Representative Yvette Clarke.

But when we entered the reception room with our nail polish at the ready there were refreshments. Someone made a moving speech supporting abortion. More time went by and, well, I guess we forgot to abort ourselves,” stated Clarke, who admits what was supposed to be a dramatic political statement devolved into a champagne-induced pedicure party.

Despite no one of the Democrat Women’s Working Group managing to off themselves as promised, the mass suicide would have protested the Trump administration’s plans to roll back decades of progress women have made in turning work places into overly-dramatized cauldrons of mass unproductivity, infanticide into a common form of birth control, and the miracle of feminism, which has created generations of obese, dysfunctional single moms throughout the nation.

Not everyone in attendance forwent nail polish consumption.

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