Entertainment

‘Kimmel’ Cancels Belly and The Weekend, Books Trump

by Lance Blanchard, Politicoat Thursday 5/26/2016

     Viewers of Wednesday night’s airing of “Jimmy Kimmel Live” saw Republican Presidential nominee Donald Trump, but not musical guests Belly and The Weekend.

Raper Belly was scheduled to perform his hit song “Might Not,” which features singer The Weekend, but a representative for Jimmy Kimmel confirmed the artists were canceled by ABC for being overly disparaging towards bitches, niggas, and hoes.

“As strong believers in equal rights for all, ABC Studios is taking a stand against performers Belly and The Weekend for lyrics, music, and videos that promote negative and derogatory representations of niggas and bitches, plus depict hoes as predominately obsessed with money, drugs, and male genitalia,” a press release from ABC stated.

In an effort to appease ‘Kimmel Live’ viewers who were expecting to hear niggas and hoes negatively referenced by a poorly-educated, low talent rap group, ABC alternatively booked presidential hopeful Donald Trump whom effortlessly manages to offend all niggas and bitches, not to mention illiterate wetbacks from the Orwellian rape nation of Mexico.

Bumped Belly and The Weekend replied to the ‘Kimmel Live’ cancellation in a written statement to ABC saying, “Listen hoes, I know all you bitches want is liquor, smoke, dick and dough. We’z gonna let this slide, but my niggas get-in violent. Gotta go. Hippy bitches sendin’ me titty pictures.”

Black Race Industry Saves Prince

by Tyrone Watts, Politicoat Friday 4/22/2016

     Minutes after learning music artist Prince died at his Paisley Park Studios, the well-oiled machine of the Black Industrial Race Complex swooped in to solidify the lineage of the late rocker as a beacon of the insatiable forced tolerance movement.

White news anchors, tainted by their heritage of slave ownership and blinding hatred for colored people, were justifiably yanked from news desks and replaced with black media activists so as to not soil the legacy of another deceased black super talent with white, racist words that could never, ever, ever convey the plight of social warriors, like Prince, in systemically racist post-emancipation America.

According to the likes or Toure and Don Lemon, it makes no never mind that the seven time Grammy-winning Prince was listened to by more white people than Billy Graham, combined a multitude of musical styles, and staged live performances with more half-naked white women than a Slovenian swimsuit contest. To these BLM activists of the airwaves, Prince is not a success story of effort and talent but one of struggle to reach the plantation porch of the white entertainment industry.

This reporter recently took to the streets to ask some white motherfuckers what they think of Prince’s passing. One white bitch said, “I never thought of Prince as black until being constantly reminded by the African American political machine. I just saw him as an amazing talent.” Can you believe that shit?

Another white fool, when asked his perspective, replied, “I think we should recognize Prince for his extraordinary abilities, not make him into a pawn for political reasons.” Racist idiot.

Prince, like it or not, has become the latest installment of the eternal black civil rights struggle that will endure until white people, who dream of owning black slaves, are mentally reconditioned, deprived of all their stuff, or die of old age.


No Throne For The Boss: Springsteen Cancels NC Performance

by Paul Berstein, Politcoat Monday 4/11/2016

     A recent North Carolina potty policy has stalled another assault on standards and human decency as rock star, and transgender enforcement specialist, Bruce Springsteen canceled a performance in the Tar Heel state due to horribly-dressed men with poor taste in woman’s shoes being legally prohibited from public restrooms designated for biological females.


Springsteen, popularly known as The Boss, released a written statement, yet to be understood by anyone, where he said the NC bathroom law is “an attempt by people who cannot stand the progress our country has made in recognizing human rights of all our citizens to overturn that progress.”

Springsteen also said that transgender activists demanding use of toilets not correlated to their birth genitals are “freedom fighters” with whom he and his band wish to show solidarity.

As a mouthy, unaccountable celebrity using fame to influence social policy, however, Springsteen made no mention of human rights for North Carolinian women, boys, and girls who would be forcibly exposed anytime a transgender “freedom fighter” entered a public or school restroom based on their personal sexual identity and not the gender on their birth certificate.

Brian Andrews, general manager for the Greensboro Coliseum, where the now canceled concert was to be held, said a lot of working class fans who personally relate to Springsteen, and the blue color ethos of his music, have no idea he is a “queer lover.”

“A lot of fans are unaware of their idol’s, shall we say, progressive social causes,” said Andrews from his office where staff are processing thousands of refunds to disappointed concert goers. “Personally I don’t give a rat’s about his politics, but at the same time I can’t have a bunch of ugly-ass dudes in dresses using woman’s restrooms and calling it social activism, okay?”

Sources close to Springsteen and his East Street Band, however, say the aging lead musician has less of an issue with North Carolina law but is, in fact, using liberal social justice as a cover for a weak bladder that requires frequent restroom breaks and quick access to toilets, whether man’s or woman’s.

“Bruce has to go a lot and is often Born to Run to the restroom between songs,” jested Sandy Sullivan, Springsteen’s US-based tour manager. “I mean, there’s noting like a case of Thunder Butt to give Bruce a Pink Cardiac when there’s no Human Toilet available,” she added. “Woman’s restrooms are often closer to the stage, or at least One Step Down When He Needs Pee,” Sullivan giggled. “No one’s Tougher Than The Restroom.”