ISIS Officially Endorses Hillary Clinton For President

by Lance Blanchard, Politicoat Sunday 8/7/2016

Washington, DC- The Islamic State has joined forces with former Bush Administration officials, the American Chicano movement, and Black Lives Matter to officially endorse Hillary Clinton for President of the United States.

Media outlets are calling news of the announcement a “crushing blow” to the Trump campaign still clinging to the tawdry and antiquated concept of protecting the lives and interests of American citizens.

In a recorded statement ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Bagdadi told followers that Clinton, as Secretary of State, funded and armed ISIS militants in their early years as a fledgling Islamic rape, slavery, and murder cartel, reminding members and supporters of the medieval terror group that Clinton is second only to President Obama in fostering the growth and success of the Islamic State. A partnership, al-Bagdadi promised, will continue far into the Clinton Presidency.

Hillary 2016 campaign manager Robby Mook called the ISIS endorsement another feather in his candidate’s hat of growing international support, but said it is unlikely to get public recognition by Clinton herself.

The Clinton campaign, in recent weeks, has made no secret of reaching out to nefarious characters for support as elitist Republican jackoffs from the Bush administration, whose cronyism and incompetence guaranteed the Obama presidency, have partnered to endorse Clinton as Trump conversely courts millions of average Americans fucked over by both Bush and Obama.

As details of the Clinton/ISIS partnership are ironed out, a presidential 747 filled with cash is preparing to depart Andrews Air force Base for one of al-Bagdadi’s many ISIS operating bases in Iraq, Libya, or Syria.

The one time payment in foreign currency is said to far exceed the $400 million paid to the Iranian government, for exchange of US hostages in January 2016, and will be used by ISIS for infrastructural upgrades to better terrorize civilians living in ISIS-held territories and conduct attacks in Islamified Europe and United States.

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