Travel

Migrants Complain Of Fewer Benefits, Rape Opportunities In US

Jesus Sanchez (lower center behind Jesus Garcia but in front of Jesus Martinez and to the left of Jesus Alvarez) says, “Obama. No.” from a house in Tucson, AZ

by Kelly McFelling, Politicoat Sunday 4/3/2016

What is being called a “clash of violent rape cultures” has become a hot button issue for the outgoing Commander in Chief as increasing numbers of illegal immigrants, freely crisscrossing the US/Mexico border, criticize President Obama’s plan to bring millions of illiterate, radicalized, violent Muslim men into the US from regions torn apart by the Administration’s Mid East foreign policy.

The central issue in the dispute between violent rapists from Mexico, Central and South America, and their counterparts form Syria, Libya and Iraq, is the limited availability of US government funds and American females.

Send the Muslims to Europe. There are plenty of women and government money there,” said Jesus Sanchez speaking through a Spanish language interpreter.

Sanchez is one of many illegals, freely and profitably residing in the US on government benefits, concerned that the President’s newest immigration policy will result in fewer criminal opportunities for Hispanic illegals, including availability of non-compliant women. “Resources are limited,” added Sanchez.

In a Saturday afternoon briefing White House Press Secretary Jay Carney explained that the President’s Islamification initiatives will not result in a clash between illegal Hispanic immigrants and jihadist refugees, but will be a net gain for both groups as the lives and property of American citizens will “more than fulfill the demand,” bringing much-needed diversity to American society and its gene pool through a stark increase of involuntary sexual relationships.

The President has been very clear that he sees no conflict of interest between migrants from Mexico and Central America and refugees from Syria and Libya,” Said Carney. “His accommodating both groups into the US fulfills his objectives for America and America’s obligations to the world.”

Congressional Republicans siding with the American public believe the President’s plan to import millions of radicalized Muslims, while allowing millions more illegals through the open southern border, will result in a massive and unprecedented criminalization of American society, yet have absolutely no plans to do anything about it.

Obama is keeping the southern border wide open while importing as many jihadi rapists as he can before January 2017,” said a Republican senator who requested to not be named due to voting for the majority of Obama’s policies while verbally pretending to oppose them.


NC Residents Celebrate San Fran Travel Ban

by Kelly McFelling, Politicoat Sunday 3/27/2016 

It has been over a year since San Fransisco’s Travel Czar has issued a ban against a politically and geographically distant state not gay enough to his liking, but Mayor Ed Lee has, once again, dropped the travel gavel this time preventing San Franciscans from setting one transgender toe in the Tar Heel state of North Carolina.  

Mayor Lee, by imposing the travel ban, is reacting to a recent law that ensures North Carolinian females will not have the displeasure of encountering purple-haired, skinny jean-wearing, androgynous men with their penises taped between their legs in public restroom facilities designated for women and girls.  

The law, known as House Bill 2, will also protect North Carolinian men from PTSD-like symptoms by preventing exposure to large-boned, short-haired females wearing plaid shirts and drop-chain wallets attempting to spit, over use public urinals, and colloquial profanity. 

Reaction to Mayor Lee’s travel ban has not been mixed. San Franciscans, who are used to government placing strict limits on all aspects of their lives, least their genitals, are happily conforming as North Carolinians are pleased with the travel ban, hoping it remains in place. 

“I don’t know how the mayor of San Fransisco can order his citizens not to come here, but we’re sure happy he did,” said Charlotte resident and mother of three Suzie Anderson.

San Fransisco Mayor Ed Lee: “You can poop anywhere on our streets, but you can’t travel to North Carolina.”

Ronald Baylor, who runs a local burger joint popular with the Charlotte working class lunch crowd, is also a proponent of the new law. “Now I don’t have to destroy dining space to build a freakin’ gender neutral bathroom for a few un-parented, purse-toting, lady boys wishing they were born with vaginas.”

Opponents to the law claim the Republican-controlled NC Assembly has overstepped, reversing years of progressive progress. Emrham Malinoue is a local transgender and toilet activist.  “The new law denies LGBT persons essential protections to ensure we can have equal social access without fear,” seemingly unaware that lesbians and gays use gender specific public restrooms without complaint. 

Despite the popularity of the law and San Fransisco travel ban among normal people in NC, globalist corporations, such as Dow Chemical and Bank of America, have denounced the state’s legislation as “discriminatory”.

Additionally professional sports organizations, like the NBA and NFL, are considering boycotts of North Carolina-based events, such as the 2017 All Star game and future Super Bowls, to “protect transgender fans from intimidation and fear” despite there being no statistical evidence that people who dye their hair green, predominately wear black, and earn income solely for the purpose of surgically altering their genitals are adamant sports fans. 

Enjoy the game!


 Indiana Family Trips Soar on San Fran, Seattle Travel Bans

Families planning Summer vacations are putting Indiana on their map as San Francisco and Settle issue travel bans against the state following passage of a controversial religious rights law. It is an unexpected turn of events as the liberal West Coast cities clearly expected Americans to follow their lead in boycotting travel to and commerce with the Hoosier State. 
 
“We’ve never been to Indiana,” said Lori Parker, an Ohio mother of two who admits she has no idea what there is to do in Indiana. “It’s just a relief knowing we can travel somewhere in America and not see Seattle meth zombies with unwashed hair and needles hanging out of their arms.” 
 
Mike Singelton, a father of three from Texas, said of his family’s planned trip to Indiana, “It’s a bit of a drive for us, but it will be nice taking the kids to a state where aged San Franciscans aren’t walking around with their bodies painted and shriveled genitals exposed.” 
 
On Thursday San Francisco’s Mayor Ed Lee placed a travel ban on Indiana, stating, “our city will not tolerate legally-sanctioned discrimination,” in reference to the state’s passage of religious rights legislation. In turn Seattle Mayor Ed Murray placed an identical travel ban on Indiana, saying, “Seattle will not tolerate discrimination against lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people by the State of Indiana.” Indiana’s so called “Religious Freedom Law” prohibits being born gay, looking “dykeish” and places intense restrictions on “bromances” among heterosexual males in the state. Critics, from professional athletes to CEOs of companies that make trendy electronic shit, say the law is too harsh and leaves the door open for forced internment of unattractive women and extremely attractive men.