US Media Still Ignoring Venezuelan Apocalypse

The Venezuelan National Diet is not a legislative body.
by Jose Ramirez, Politicaot Sunday 5/15/2015

     With levels of cognitive dissonance warranting medical attention, the American media spent another week blissfully ignoring the deadly consequences of socialism while starvation in Venezuela surpassed premeditated murder as the leading cause of death in South America’s most homicidal nation.

Choosing, instead, to focus on impossibilities like a replacement for Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump and a Democratic nomination for Bernie Sanders, cable and major news networks consumed the week’s cycle with topics that distracted form effects of their favorite utopian political model as Venezuelans hunted pigeons and house pets to keep a few calories ahead of death in the egalitarian socialist democracy.

“You want everyone to be the same? Yes, okay, now we are all the same. Hungry!” said former shop manager Luis Moralas setting what he calls “cat traps” outside his government apartment in central Caracas.

Attempting to keep himself in power like any failed socialist dictator, Venezuelan President Nicolas Maduro declared a 60 day state of emergency for government death squads to roam the streets of Venezuela’s most populated cities “shooting on sight” starving citizens caught eating domesticated animals. “Venezuela was seen as a pet-friendly nation before being ravished by capitalist pigs of the West,” said Maduro from the lush Miraflores Palace.

Maduro adopted the strict martial policy after members of his travel and tourism cabinet warned foreigners will stop coming to be robbed, ransomed, and murdered if Venezuela is perceived as place where housebroken dogs and cats are consumed for survival.

Residents like Valincia’s Ali Armas, however, claim they have little choice eating pets as government rations are too infrequent and inadequate. “I feel terrible helping my elderly neighbor look for her beloved cat while knowing he is on my stomach easing my hunger. I want to tell her ‘beloved Fudor is here’,” said Armas, pointing to her abdomen while admitting she must maintain relations with her neighbor as a contingency to future hunger. “Once all the pets are eaten we will have to move onto the next available option,” she added, motioning toward her 72-year-old neighbor pointlessly calling the name of her missing cat.

Unsurprisingly none of Venezuela’s horrific events have been covered by the American press which chooses to ignore how the very social and economic policies they promote actually work, in practice, as resources managed by government central planners are so scarce it has become necessary to eradicate the consumers of those resources to preserve the Venezuelan state.

Continuing to Ignore their complete ideological defeat in Venezuela, the American media lineup for the coming week will consists of interviews with rich celebrities on the danger of free markets, coverage of the most transgender-friendly US cities, and non-stop panel discussions to manufacture the appearance of competition in the 2016 presidential primaries. 


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